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Dog Quotes

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe, we are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made."

- Roger Caras

"Acquiring a dog, may be the only time a person gets to choose a relative."

- Unknown

"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around."

- cowboy wisdom

"A dog is the only thing that can fill the void in your empty heart"

– Unknown

"I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles."

- Steven Wright

"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich."

- Louis Sabin

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."

- Christopher Morley

"A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it."

- Helen Thomson

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."

– Unknown

"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace."

- Milan Kundera

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."

- Mark Twain

"I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs."

- Barbara Woodhouse

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

- Dave Barry

"Intelligent dogs rarely want to please people whom they do not respect."

- W.R. Koehler

"When a dog runs at you, whistle for him."

- Henry David Thoreau

"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive."

- Gilda Radner

"A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours."

– Anonymous

"To err is human, to forgive, canine."

– Unknown

"I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him "There now you're done."

- Steven Wright

"There's just something about dogs that makes you feel good. You come home, they're thrilled to see you. They're good for the ego."

- Janet Schnellman

“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.”

- Roger Caras

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."

- Henry Wheeler Shaw

“Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!”

- Anne Tyler

"I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now."

- Steven Wright

"Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well."

- Bonnie Wilcox

"A watchdog is a dog kept to guard your home, usually by sleeping where a burglar would awaken the household by falling over him."

- Anonymous

"I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world."

- Samuel Johnson

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."

- John Steinbeck

"You may have a dog that won't sit up, roll over or even cook breakfast, not because she's too stupid to learn how but because she's too smart to bother."

- Rick Horowitz, Chicago Tribune

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives."

- Rita Rudner

"You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'"

- Dave Barry

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

- Groucho Marx

"If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."

– Unknown

“My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.”

– Unknown

"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog."

- Edward Hoagland

“If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”

- Phil Pastoret

"I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn't excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother."

- Bonnie Schacter, Founder of the Single Pet Owner's Society Singles Group

“One reason the dog has so many friends: He wags his tail instead of his tongue.”

– Unknown